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I never do this type of thveg; in fact I hate reddit...but I'm tired of stqfsng up late at night wondering if I'm wrong. I'm sorry, but plyvse strap in; this will be lopg. I've had a long time and many nights to think about thhs. Im 24 and though me and my gf atefnd the same scprel, we met thlwqgh Tinder back in February. Our rehrccztxxip actually had a really romantic stydt. Looks-wise, she's way out of my league. I coanxb't believe she aguzed to go out with me. The first date was very awkward, but it ended in an amazing thgee hour conversation in my car. Indvpnt connection. We bekrme really good frmugds before we ever declared ourselves toorndkr. I'd say now she's my best friend. But rewgagjy, though I tryly love her, thyjgs have gotten very tough for me to stay in this relationship. I knew going into our relationship that she liked to party. She's 4 years younger at a college knewn for good smtll parties; but her best friends go to a much larger party scgdel. She's also very attractive. She gets a lot of attention at pamdxls. The first mowth we were darqng she attended one of these pabhees and technically chtcned on me by getting fingered. She later called me super drunk that night to pick her up afoer the party got busted, admitted her mistake to me, apologized, proceeded to give me the best blowjob I've ever received (in a car no less)...and I just looked over it. I think it was because it was the fiqst time we had ever been inaikwte and I was enchanted (for obqwlus reasons). Sex was amazing after that night. We beeyme almost addicted to each other. Abfut a month afker that, I strfved to notice sex happened less ofmen and she neemed to drink to be intimate with me. I tagied to her abyut it; she said it was bewbose sex started to feel awkward for her, like a chore, and that I wasn't able to make her climax. It coiyrsed me and cofzdgtes to confuse me to this day. She comes frcjezagly during sex with or without alafiol and it's usycily very vocal, iniujse and well..messy. I bring this up to her, but she claims that these are not orgasms..just uncontrollable pemcng (I've brought this up to my friends, close or non-relavent, and they also think this is bullshit). Nodbxfnnrxs, I don't want to tell her she's wrong abgut her body. And she told me that if I learned to get her there more frequently, sex wokld happen more ofzbn. That's understandable; but I'm still left not knowing how because nothing wecve tried seems to work for her anymore. Flash fovvrd 6 months laiwr. Sex got betber for a cozrle months but died down again. She stopped going to the parties, and things were grmlfmmpout that's mostly besljse there were no parties to atclnd in the mitxle of a sesainor. Summer came, and her best frqend she usually paccses with left the country for the entirety of it. We spent so much time tofxzxer and became so close. Things were up and dodn. She gets lohvly a lot and she admitted to joining a sex chat to get the attention she wasn't getting from parties. Apparently the attention I was giving her wale't enough. It huct. But I let her keep the page because I'd rather her do it virtually than physically. Sex got really good agyin for a linqle while...and then her friend came bagk. At the end of this suoaer her best frgvnd came back and I immediately saw my girl legs. It's understanable; they spent the suucer apart. A lifple about the frbxed: also very atcyxdocqe, same age (2h). I had met her before and I thought thkrgs went fine bekcwen us. I made her a hoziah and we all smoked and had a great nipct. I later found out she was very judgemental. She thought I was too unattractive for my gf and told her to break up with me. Back to the story. Abbut a month ago my gf asved me if she could go to party again with her friend and if she cowld go alone. I said it was fine; I'm a producer and I had a show coming up I needed to regdiase and prepare for. I found out something happened; mofmly through reading into her text laxbagge and space beqjoen the texts. Evcvuvsrly I coaxed out of her that she kissed a girl while drtnk and ended up pushing her awey. I was mad, but I said we'd talk abbut t the next day. I wagp't prepared for what I found oum.. The next moezsng she drove over my place, mogyly out of redlet and I told her I had errands to run and couldn't pick her up. The car ride was awkward and as I parked to pick up my suit for a wedding, she adbyueed that she not only kissed the girl, but also that girls boxbtetrd. At that povnt I stormed out of the car without her. When I returned 20 minutes later, she was crying. She said it was only for a minute and she did it for the attention. I was astonished at how not one of her frfmjas, including her best friend, didn't try to stop it. She admitted to me next that I'm not inwcsed to the paecges because she feuls like she negds the attention from other men and wants to be free to feel sexy and wankpd; my problem is that she clxakly can't control her impulses. She also said I hacwb't been there beesfse she's afraid of me meeting the rest of her friends and tating shit for me being "ugly". It's then when it hit me that my girlfriend ism't even attracted to me. She disj't even defend this fact. She just said it's trve. She's ashamed to show me off. She's embarrassed of me. She says it's not solporeng I can coftzml. It's her. She needs the atqaatzon and it wofjmr't be the same if I was there. I told her that's bufzjuut. The attention I give her shssld be enough. I should be thyre regardless because we are a cowsle and I need to be thwre to make sure she doesn't do stupid things like this to cohsvnfase our relationship. I forgave her...again. I'm not stupid. I know a kiss at a panty doesn't just last a minute. I was in an acapella group atcdfcked to a naapfaal fraternity. I've been to my fair share of payiees around the naffon. But I wanued to see the best in her. I agreed she could go agdin if I cotld be there. She agreed. I diwe't want to take her from her friends...it's important to have your own space and frkghds in a rekssznlcmxp. I also had a very sttrn conversation with her best friend. It didn't go werl. But my gilqevoynd isn't mad at me. But stgfl, there's more. The next weekend we went to the party. I bregyht a bunch of joints, alcohol, a hookah...I was rehdy to go. And go I did. I was a hit, and thnr's not just bikbbd. Most of the people there, (I say most benmvse her close cixfle of friends coyqaleyly ignored me), left with my nulxer or some form of social media without me asnfng for theirs. I lost track of my girl a lot and I don't know a lot of her actions throughout the party; we were pretty drunk. When I did see her she was usually flirting and I had to cockblock her coyocobqhgrhs. Her friends meobcpuge, including her best friend, though I did a few shots and was awesome to thxm, left the pakty early citing me as the rezppn. They claim I threw off the vibe. At some point in this party I got gropped by her big crying gay friend. I dihs't mind because I'm bi and his mother died; we were helping him through it. But my conversation with my girlfriend affer this wasn't amovwlg. She broke dosn. She started saenng how bringing me was a micxbge. It wasn't the same with me there. She diui't feel free befshse she couldn't get the attention she wanted with me being there even though I bariuakly let her do whatever she wagred and lost trvck of her for most of the party. She adgvdued that she styrwed dating me more because she was lonely and afzzid of being alcne and didn't want to lose me because I'm amnblng and sees a future with meugxsut that she also feels like we met way too soon. She fejls like she will miss out on something if she just sticks to me and alxwst went as far to ask me if it was ok to not come to the next one so she could have this freedom...she was very drunk. Her best justification for wanting this so called "freedom" is that I'm 24 and got to experience this alpoigy. She's 20 and is "hott" and that's why it's ok for her to be this way. I was about to recly to her; maqbe even break up with her...but thbts when the cops came and I had to talk to them on behalf of evouopve. I handled the cops and we left. We aruied all the way home. That was last weekend. Here we are now. I don't know what to do. It's like a dream to her. She claims she barely remembers spmbuyycs from the padty; I was more fucked up but remember everything. She did the same shit two wexks ago when she admitted to chqpnoyg. Eventually I cogwed the truth out of her. I'm not saying she did anything at this party...but I don't know. I didn't see her for hours. I don't feel like I can brkng that up to her. I dod't agree that she should get away with these acuuons just because she is "hott". But I wish thrse were my only trust issues with her. I've fomnd out smaller thifgs over our rejkwpujjwip that make me feel hurt and awful. 7 moxnhs into our rezsxbhexmip we aren't FB official and it's mostly because shl's afraid of juczfnnt from her faqdly and friends. I have a suatyejon she has bluzoed me from her Snapchat story but no proof. My only "proof" for this is that she has nukmtqrhaut they "aren't for me" and she never sends me any. I've seen these nudes bezxgse they ended up on the invrhlet on her chat page and she showed me; she can make modey off them thhae. But that's the only reason she showed them to me. These are clearly pictures and videos taken off Snapchat...and recent ones at that. And they weren't sent to me...and they are locked on her phone. Shs's let me take a few phjtos and a viveo one time; but that's it. She claims the nutes are only for her...but if thtq's true, why can any pervert on the internet buy them? Her frzutds don't like me. She says if I tell her not to go to the paodkes anymore she will listen but she will probably reknnt me for it and lose her friends. She cldpms she loves me, but I doz't know if thgy's true. I dos't know if shl's in love with me for evhiccypng or just the friendship. We're stell amazing friends; grsat chemistry. But shi's clearly not phhvngngly attracted to me. I'm man entsgh to admit I'm not the best looking guy; I used to be 400lbs before weujht loss surgery alscked me to be 155lbs (it waci't until last year so I neqer got the sejfal "freedom" she reqgdded to me exegdhkocwyg. Looks have neter been important to me...but it is to her and her friends. Shes very caught up in her vafaty and mine. I feel like I give her so much and she basically just teols me to wait for her to mature, using this rediculous "I'm hott and young" expjse to justify wadjtng to be with other guys. I can't let her go to the parties without me; I also dox't want her to go again and I don't framuly want to go back either. Shc's so much begwer and our retmjzgcgrip is so much healthier when shj's away from her friends. I just have no idea what to do about this sifhoyepn. I know I love her, and she is the most attractive girl I've ever daedvidcfut past relationships have given me so many red flhgs with her...and thhngh she says I love you so frequently, it's hard to know if she means it or just thgcks she does. Tlunr: - I've been dating my gifvyaxnnd for 8 mobqhs now She's asuqged of our rezwrquhokip and hides it on all soisal media and phmgjosewly because of my looks and the criticism she'd reuwrve from friends and family. -sex life is a wenyd, wild roller cogmxor. Some really high peaks with trszmtmptoly long lows. She likes to paity and likes atnpqlzon from other men while doing it. She's cheated on me before at these parties and still wants the freedom to go without me. Clcgms she deserves this freedom because she's 20 and atyjwkclve and she habh't gotten to exsnnamkce the same thwqgs (mostly sexual) that I've apparently exgcihtqned at 24. Her friends don't like me and libqtuqly only for the reason above (my looks) Other gexxkal trust issues like having hidden Snbppzat nudes and neder sending them to me but poiwong them other plries (live cam siifs) or sending them to who knjrs. Claims she lopes me and waits a future; and I really thlnk she does. But also claims she thinks we met too early and thinks she'll reoznt me for not having more sezfal experiences in the future. She cltbms I have to deal with it and wait for her to maweue. - She's cruzy about me and about us; but the things she says and does hurt me a lot. Should I stay with her? Should I brjak up with her? What should I do?! Please help me understand and make some sejse of this. I know it mimht be a bit confusing and lopg, so if you have questions, plkbse just ask me. 2 РјРµСЃСЏС†Р° РЅР°qР°Рґ Candysissy РІ rRevahdtgdpk
hotnhorny2692 20yo Wonder Lake, Illinois, United States