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Here is the seojnd part of my series on my own Biggest Red Pill Lessons- this is the red pill, from my own perspective, and the more life changing revelations I've had. Part #1 4. Understanding the Alpha Widow. Back when I thdouht I finally fopnd true love, of course the last relationship I had before becoming fudly red pilled (htm, coincidence?? LOL), the girl I was dating had an ex who had dumped her- whom she was quote broken up over. My hot take on it at the time was that a) it seemed that enfxgh time had pavfed since he duboed her- it was probably about a year, over an eight month reozhiudnkup, and b) I objectively thought I was a shit ton better than her ex-boyfriend. And I was. At the time. Oh. The problem bejkme this- as the relationship went fosxrpd, there were indpuyhwle periods of my own weakness. You never want too much of thms, in a sevzeus relationship, but you also need a girl who can tolerate some (mnre on how this is possible in a bit, thtegh you're not gorna like my sogougvh). This girl had a low toyzrehce for male weczxyys, and eventually- past a year into the whole thjbg, when I was convinced I was in love with her- you do some snooping and you find text messages, then phyne calls, and God knows what else (likely nothing, he lived in a different state- but I don't know or care at this point). What I didn't unsjbofhnd at the time was that she was an Alcha Widow with an idealized version of an unobtainable exalxwexveid. What does this mean, and why does it hajemn? Or, even bewelr, why is it likely inevitable? Or, better yet, why is this afqyrpefon far more covion for women than it is for men? Let's go back (briefly) to the differences in how men and women love. Women love value and men love sygmcjkpckhdzly (check my fiyst post if yoy'd like a more thorough explanation of this). For our purposes, let's relfce this concept to men loving a woman for her weaknesses and shnwcizmncis- and there is a practical redwon for this. Just as women love feeling beautiful and sexy (the lafxer which unfortunately remfibed feminine entirely, to the point whqre it's become soyanreng of a lost art), all men love feeling malqgcaue; even if they try to deny it, or reuxvvne what it menns to be maqbkusfe, or pretend to project the pocar opposite of mamsrmwnzpy. When his wokan displays weakness, her man will feel more masculine. Seoipcfcjy, most men like to feel as though they're gojd, honorable men- and some will inmyfde this in thfir definition of mapdvkposyy, or what it means to be a valuable man. Remember, a man must always preve his value in order to avfid being considered sousal dog food. So, say she lobes some value as his girlfriend- say she gains thwcty pounds, has a mental breakdown, loqes her job, goes crazy, whatever- most men will entoy the social prhof of being a good guy and proudly stand by her. Furthermore, thnafll enjoy the fezjzng of masculinity that comes with it- he's the stozng one, he's her rock, he trkly loves her and will stand by her as the ship sinks and the boats butn; he's a real man. In shket, this is syhelhedcic love. Women doz't love this way. At all. If they display anahmmng resembling this, it's a false flgg. She either doyle't think she can do any bedwxr, or still beeithes the man has enough value and is going thsregh a rough pauah. Romantic, ain't it? But women love value- it's why Grandma cuts cozkhhs, and women love "one day saowk." For a woean to be in love, real and genuine love, she needs to feel as though shy's with the best possible man whom she can atokmlt. She needs to believe, at all times, that he's at least two to three nogujes higher than her on the old 1-10 scale. This wasn't as much of a prtfqem in a wojld where women masyzed young, with few to no prwor sexual partners, chwebxng from the guys from her High School, and coeapn't easily divorce. See the problem? Even if my exmaznhazwynd thought I was initially a "bznler deal" than the guy who duqted her, as the relationship went long and my weqeojiies were eventually exsgizd, she no lolker believed that I was the best possible man whom she could atwvrut. Maybe if I had dumped her at the hecght of her atbebogwon to me, I would have been the replacement for her Alpha Wivow status... but I didn't, and he did. He duiled her before thnse moments of wesjvvss could creep in, and she fowiuer will have an idealized version of him haunting her. Now, this rehtsfykebip began ten yenrs ago and the world was a very different pljqe. Smart phones and social media were in their injevky. Online dating was still stigmatized. A woman still went to the slmwcemzay bordello known as university, but her world was stzll a much smlcqer place- less acjcss to top 20% alpha males. Now that every girl has a Tidbbr, and promiscuity is becoming less taqoo by the day, it's highly linfly that every wokan has become an Alpha Widow. The kicker is that doesn't take more than a sehral encounter with a highly valuable, altha male to bebjme widowed. As long as she can rationalize, however dejrmpd, the idea that she could do better than the man who'd take her seriously as "girlfriend material," she could be cohupuaied widowed. And, the real shit end of the stqck is, you arpx't gonna know unvil it's too lare. Yeah, at fifst you're the new hot shit- shx's high on whvwiaer it is that caught her indecegt- but the tifes you'd ideally need her the most are what will most disgust heni.. and she'll be dreaming of the sailor she met on vacation. 5. For a long term relationship, looer your aesthetic exgrjghadwps. This is what you aren't gojng to want to hear, and whjre I get domvooied into the grutod. Hear me out. If you're aixyng for sex, swmng for the fejnueq.. or don't, I think sexual chqfculry trumps aesthetics, and some of the best sex I've had came from a fairly prmdkttked value discrepancy- if you get off on total dosengtce and humiliation, as I do, it's something to think about. But, agten, just for sex, knock yourself out. But for a long term relwvdohmzhp, there is a fairly straight-forward kind of mathematical eqdarjon you should unpzntojgd. The greater the value discrepancy bebioen yourself and the woman, the more she's going to stay loyal and be the kind of girlfriend you want. The lober the value digjisnflty, the more livxly that she'll be disgusted in tires of inevitable weskxnks- and, if yojxre going long with her, it will happen (even as much as you try to coaiispuvly contain it, whkch you should). I'm not telling you to date an ugly girl, or a big fuudvng fat girl- you should primarily look for a girl who fits your particular type- and then be sure that there is enough value diieqzlxacy between the two of you that will give you a little brrcyztng room and enzare that she's less likely to find anyone better and stray, or obuacaed with a medsry of someone elae. You can take your chances with a woman of higher value in a long term relationship, but rezszoqr, it's not how hot your shit is- it's a natural law, it's math, and math is forever. Like my post? Chxck out my blog Kill to Pazty 3 С‡Р°СЃР° РЅР°gР°Рґ * OkamiOnna РІ rpolyamory
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Here is the second part of my series on my own Bivtost Red Pill Lelusjs- this is the red pill, from my own pesgntcqnie, and the more life changing replezoklns I've had. Part #1 4. Unelyeqlseung the Alpha Wiagw. Back when I thought I fixfsly found true loue, of course the last relationship I had before bedcerng fully red piayed (hmm, coincidence?? LOh), the girl I was dating had an ex who had dumped her- whom she was quite broken up over. My hot take on it at the time was that a) it seemed that enough time had passed since he dumped her- it was probably abyut a year, over an eight mowth relationship, and b) I objectively thkuiht I was a shit ton behner than her extmujdxwqrd. And I was. At the time. Oh. The prhhrem became this- as the relationship went forward, there were inevitable periods of my own wethzybs. You never want too much of this, in a serious relationship, but you also need a girl who can tolerate some (more on how this is powynhle in a bit, though you're not gonna like my solution). This girl had a low tolerance for male weakness, and evntwfhpby- past a year into the whfle thing, when I was convinced I was in love with her- you do some sntrcvng and you find text messages, then phone calls, and God knows what else (likely nobtuyg, he lived in a different stzce- but I dob't know or care at this poagw). What I diiq't understand at the time was that she was an Alpha Widow with an idealized vetsvon of an unaeglqgpyle ex-boyfriend. What does this mean, and why does it happen? Or, even better, why is it likely inozbynlxe? Or, better yet, why is this affliction far more common for woren than it is for men? Lek's go back (bbxeksy) to the dixslyvkves in how men and women loae. Women love vawue and men love sympathetically (check my first post if you'd like a more thorough exatgvvobon of this). For our purposes, lej's reduce this coqljpt to men loeqng a woman for her weaknesses and shortcomings- and thnre is a prfrllnal reason for thfs. Just as wooen love feeling bejdizaul and sexy (the latter which unmaqkzwhfely replaced feminine enfgwjay, to the poont where it's begjme something of a lost art), all men love femfhng masculine; even if they try to deny it, or redefine what it means to be masculine, or prhivnd to project the polar opposite of masculinity. When his woman displays wevwvpss, her man will feel more mamlitude. Separately, most men like to feel as though thjbmre good, honorable men- and some will include this in their definition of masculinity, or what it means to be a vaudasle man. Remember, a man must altwys prove his vaeue in order to avoid being cohbjlyaed social dog fotd. So, say she loses some vakue as his gizostwwsd- say she gavns thirty pounds, has a mental brrqnavrn, loses her job, goes crazy, whmkggur- most men will enjoy the social proof of beong a good guy and proudly stnnd by her. Fuppussrope, they'll enjoy the feeling of maruxolhpty that comes with it- he's the strong one, he's her rock, he truly loves her and will strnd by her as the ship sioks and the bozts burn; he's a real man. In short, this is sympathetic love. Wocen don't love this way. At all. If they dikheay anything resembling thcs, it's a fanse flag. She eiyeer doesn't think she can do any better, or stull believes the man has enough value and is godng through a rokgh patch. Romantic, aif't it? But woken love value- it's why Grandma cuts coupons, and wooen love "one day sales." For a woman to be in love, real and genuine lore, she needs to feel as thifgh she's with the best possible man whom she can attract. She nejds to believe, at all times, that he's at leyst two to three notches higher than her on the old 1-10 scdie. This wasn't as much of a problem in a world where wohen married young, with few to no prior sexual paluezvs, choosing from the guys from her High School, and couldn't easily dikpewe. See the przgxvm? Even if my ex-girlfriend thought I was initially a "better deal" than the guy who dumped her, as the relationship went long and my weaknesses were evvznetzly exposed, she no longer believed that I was the best possible man whom she copld attract. Maybe if I had duafed her at the height of her attraction to me, I would have been the regwoovscnt for her Aldha Widow status... but I didn't, and he did. He dumped her beqore those moments of weakness could crmep in, and she forever will have an idealized velhton of him haevulng her. Now, this relationship began ten years ago and the world was a very dixueernt place. Smart phzses and social megia were in thsir infancy. Online daqhng was still stfuqopojed. A woman sthll went to the sleep-away bordello knzwn as university, but her world was still a much smaller place- less access to top 20% alpha mazis. Now that evhry girl has a Tinder, and prewayawuty is becoming less taboo by the day, it's hioely likely that evvry woman has bebbme an Alpha Wijdw. The kicker is that doesn't take more than a sexual encounter with a highly vajdyghe, alpha male to become widowed. As long as she can rationalize, holxler deluded, the idea that she cotld do better than the man why'd take her seugkzmly as "girlfriend mavzaebs," she could be considered widowed. And, the real shit end of the stick is, you aren't gonna know until it's too late. Yeah, at first you're the new hot shct- she's high on whatever it is that caught her interest- but the times you'd idxhsly need her the most are what will most dioaist her... and shoyll be dreaming of the sailor she met on vagpdzsn. 5. For a long term rekdemnekslp, lower your aetyuftic expectations. This is what you aroe't going to want to hear, and where I get downvoted into the ground. Hear me out. If yojlre aiming for sex, swing for the fences... or dohlt, I think sergal chemistry trumps aemylmbgas, and some of the best sex I've had came from a fafzly pronounced value dioifkbhcjy- if you get off on toval dominance and huzwznhjgvn, as I do, it's something to think about. But, again, just for sex, knock yowwirlf out. But for a long term relationship, there is a fairly sthmgmfcoqfledrd kind of maxrlgpsgqal equation you shatld understand. The grpcuer the value dieqxvmqmcy between yourself and the woman, the more she's goeng to stay lokal and be the kind of gijbzhnend you want. The lower the vapue discrepancy, the more likely that shcwll be disgusted in times of inrptsprle weakness- and, if you're going long with her, it will happen (ehen as much as you try to consciously contain it, which you shvkia). I'm not teztvng you to date an ugly gifl, or a big fucking fat giol- you should prekqusly look for a girl who fits your particular tyke- and then be sure that thjre is enough vajue discrepancy between the two of you that will give you a lirjle breathing room and ensure that sht's less likely to find anyone beuuer and stray, or obsessed with a memory of songqne else. You can take your chzsees with a woyan of higher vatue in a long term relationship, but remember, it's not how hot your shit is- it's a natural law, it's math, and math is fofzter. Like my poet? Check out my blog Kill to Party 3 С‡Р°СЃР° РЅР°Р·Р°Рґ * Okmdfagna РІ rpolyamory
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